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TheChio (Part 2)Edit

*We rejoin the offense group, who are attacking the noobs with a great deal of fury*

Gamebuddy: *slashing at noobs with his microphone’s beamsword* Kinda sucked what happened to poor Griffin. If we find that particular noob, we should give him an ol’ country style whoopin’!

Iceman: *slashing violently at the noob force* Oh yeah? What does that consist of exactly?

Gamebuddy: *shrugs* I dunno, it just sounded cool. *shrieks into his microphone, sending a shockwave ahead that knocks over several noobs*

Celest: Taking care of all these noobs is one thing, but how’re we going to get to their King? I mean, it’s in the sky, after all. *tosses his Furrybomb at a group of noobs, letting off a massive explosion of disturbing Sonic pornography... some of which distracting noobs into a state of lust*

Bit: *shooting the red banning beam at distracted noobs* I’m still trying to work that out. We just need to take enough of them out so we get the opportunity...

Boozer: We could always pile up their corpses and make a giant stepping stone out of ‘em. That’d be fun. *punches an oncoming noob right in the face* Ugh. Have this lot even heard of personal hygiene? *burps*

Jake: *swinging his massive drumsticks* Ordinarily I’d hop down onto my desktop for some help, but it looks like we’re in too much of a pickle for me to take the time necessary. *knocks a flying noob down with a stick* See?

Celest: Hey look, a female one at last! Awesome. Be right back, y’all. Time for some raping. *leaps towards her with a smile*

Female “Noob”: Ack! What’s going on? What’re you doing?

Iceman: Celest! That’s Ephriokko! She’s one of the new people who isn’t actually a noob. *impales a noob with his barbed arm* Plus she’s only 15.

Celest: Ooookay, forget the last thing I said. *backs away* Sorry ‘bout that.

Ephriokko: No problem, but uh... what’s going on here?

Gamebuddy: Crazy noob invasion. We’ve had a few of these, though this is the biggest, and one of our own has already died, which kinda blew.

Bit: *tries to sport his grin* But there’s nothing to worry about! Honest!

Ephriokko: *sweats slightly* Uh-huh...

Boozer: Hate to interrupt your little chit-chat, but I think we’ve found the noob who squished Griff.

*The group suddenly turns around to see the massive noob waiting for them.*

Massive Noob: OMGOMG It’s you guys ROFLROFLROFL Can you teach me to draw and animate Sonic please?!!! I’ll love you forever OMGLOL.

Jake: Huh. Well what do you know, that’s just the mass of flab we were looking for. *readies drumsticks in a defensive stance*

Celest: You know, looking at him, he’s REALLY huge. And not just in the belly department.

Boozer: Jesus, Celest, why are you looking at his package.

Celest: ...That’s not what I meant. This time. I meant he’s really tall. *looks at Bit* GET THE HINT?

Bit: Huh. *glares up at the beast* You’re right. He’s about the right size for us t- MOVE EVERYONE.

*At that moment, they dodge a glomp of biblical proportions, and Iceman manages to sweep Ephriokko out of the way in the process. The noob hits the ground with a massive crash, damaging the floor in the process.*

Massive Noob: LOLOL Why did you do that OMG. I just want to be your FRIIIEEEEEND.

Iceman: *to Ephriokko* You okay?

Ephriokko: I don’t know. All I saw was fat and stretchmarks squeezed into a Naruto shirt. This is gonna take some time to get over.

Gamebuddy: *wiping sweat from his brow* So what were you guys talking about before that thing tried to do whatever that was supposed to be?

Bit: Wasn’t it obvious? If I can climb that monster of a noob, I can get up to the entrance to King Noob’s domain. *shudders* As much as the concept of touching that thing grosses me out...

Gamebuddy: Ah, gotcha. Leave it to me, then.

*With that Gamebuddy leaps in front of the noob, flicking a switch on the karaoke machine. As he does so, the “Ghostbusters” theme plays through it. He pulls his microphone to his mouth, while performing some very stylish dance moves.*

Gamebuddy: *singing out-of-key* If there’s something faaat, in your neighbourhooood, who ya gonna call? GAMEBUDDY! *dances some more and raises an eyebrow* I ain’t ‘fraid of no noob.

Massive Noob: OMG Gamebuddy you’re so cool ROFLLMAO you’re the voice of Sonic!!! Do the EMO line OMGOMGLOL

Boozer: I guess this is the best distraction we’re gonna get.

Bit: Yeah. Leave this one to me, guys. I have business with the King up there.

*The rest of the group nod in understanding, and Bit charges forward, scaling up the noob before it can do anything to stop him.*

Bit: *to self as he climbs* So gross so gross so gross so gross... *leaps onto the noob’s ponytailed hair, hops onto his head, and jumps up to the doorway of the Room, which hangs in the sky. He just grabs it, and hoists himself up.* There! Whew! *Turns to the rest and grins* Guys! Go take care of the rest of the noobs! *runs inside the doorway, into the darkness.*

Jake: You heard the admin. Let’s do what we can. *suddenly notices raindrops* Uh-oh. Seems the storm has decided to get worse.

Boozer: There was a storm? I was too pissed to notice. *shrugs*

Gamebuddy: *still dancing, turning to the others for a second* Shall we clean up the rest of the mess?

Iceman: *crossing barbed arms* You know it. Let’s go!

Celest: *pulls out his pot of gold* Time to really put this thing to use! Watch out, noobs! Celest’s coming! Lol coming.