((My keyboard spazzed in the middle of typing, and now i have to retype everything all fucking over again. As I TRIED to mention before, this post is based on a true story, earlier today, in fact.))

*The others stood there as the rampaging mass of stolen shorts made their way towards our heroes. However, Celest had yet another idea.*

Boz: Oh dear, this doesn't look good at all...

Celest: Mreh, nothing I haven't handled before.

*With those words spoken, Celest opened up four new tabs in this order: Hotmail, the stolen short, NG search results 'sonic shorts', and the Youtube Copyright Complaint Form. With these tools, he immediately rushed forward and started slapping reports on the video monitors, SLOWLY blinking them out of existence. After a period of time, Celest stood there, panting, but victorious.*

Celest: 'Bout....fucking time.

Chio: Quite a workout there, Celest.

*Just then, there was quite a quake that shook everyone around. Everyone looked around at each other.*

Chio: What the bloody hell was that?


Boz: Mind repeating that?

Celest: *after a pause* My keyboard sucks horribly, these damned keys don't always time, that and I lost some time retyping this bugger...That quake was me bashing the computer, sorry, guys.

*Just then, a little ring was heard in Celest's pocket. He looked at his phone, which showed a message of 'new emails'.*

Celest: Oh boy, let's see what this is!

*Refreshes the Hotmail tab*

Hurricane50000: ' blocked my vids?'

*Celest hides some laughter, then types in some detailed message about deleting stolen shorts*

Hurricane50000: 'dude ur shorts are awesome. are you the wax? or sonic paradox?'

Celest: HAHAHAAHA!! Guys, this idiot is amazing!

*After a minute of laughing, 'normality' resumed, even though there was a gaping hole in the site. But no stolen shorts were appearing now.*

*What will happen next? Will Celest receive any more messages from idiotic Youtube non-pubescent users? Will KaDoYuu freeze within the void? Will Chio sound any closer to Ronald Weasley? What will happen to Team BITA? YOU DECIDE!*

TheChio (Part 1)Edit

(Just a quick note to y'all: I've noticed in more than a few posts certain details from previous ones have been ignored. Please be sure to read everything ahead of you thoroughly before writing a continuation, so we don't get any more awkward storytelling and plotholes. Ta.)


*The ever-complexifying tale of the Paradoxians and their mission to keep their forum noob-free is not going all that well. Despite being in two different groups, each dealing with a troubling issue, things still feel confused and all over the place. Perhaps it is time for an intangible hand of order to set things right. Will it? That we shall have to see.

In the meantime, we rejoin the group known as Team BITA as they mount their offence against the oncoming, surprisingly organised group of noobs commanded by DarkRyal. A highly enthused Gamebuddy is charging after them, waving around his Nintendo DSi like the madman that some would suggest he is.*

Bit: Alright, seems we’re not using a strategy after all, eh? *swings his banhammer at a group of charging noobs, reducing them to dust in an instant*

Stasis: When you're advanced upon like we've been, there's not much to do other than fight back.

Boozer: The bastards're gaining on us too quickly though, and there's way too many of 'em. I don't think even my hooligan-esque violence or flame burp'll be able to make a dent in this bunch!

Iceman: *slashing an oncoming noob with his icy barb arms* So what're we going to do? We can't keep this up for too long!

Insector: Yeah, I'm starting to get the feeling this whole trying to fight the endless swarm of noobs idea wasn't the best one.

Stasis: If all else fails, there's that plan I mentioned way back when, if we can somehow get to the Welcome topic.

Bit: You had a plan? *strikes another noob with his hammer of banning*

Boozer: If he did, I was too intoxicated to hear it.

Stasis: *sighs* Well, I'm not sure about it, but it may be the only alternative we have...

*Gamebuddy approaches the group, still excited.*

Gamebuddy: Hey! Guys! Yoohoo! Look over here!

Insector: *turns to Gamebuddy for a moment* Oh hey, he's the one I forgot to take into account when organising the groups. Wonder what he wants?

Bit: Unless he can somehow eliminate a hell of a lot of noobs, I don't really care right now! *swings his banhammer to keep away a larger group of noobs*

*With that Gamebuddy leaps ahead of the group, much to their surprise.*

Boozer: What does that nutter think he's doing?

*All of a sudden, he takes a photo of the entire group of noobs, and with the flash they are completely frozen, including their commander DarkRyal. They are all doused by the power of Trauma Center's insane difficulty level.*

Stasis: ...Uhm. I'm at a loss for words.

Gamebuddy: No time to discuss! They're all stopped in place so we'd better take advantage of it!

Bit: *scratches head, trying to take this all in* Whatever the case, do we take them out while they're stunned now? I still don't think we could finish 'em off. *tries to adopt his usual reassuring grin* I mean, if we tried, perhaps we could...

Boozer: *interrupting him* Sure we can. I will if you won't. *cracks knuckles*

Stasis: Or there's my plan. Remember that at all? The plan I had?

Insector: It's not like you've actually explained it up 'til now.

Stasis: That's hardly the point right now. I think we'd better use this opportunity while we still can. *notices the noobs starting to twitch* Like now?

Iceman: Gamebuddy! How 'bout you do that thing you just did again?

Gamebuddy: No dice, my DSi’s nearly out of battery. I forgot to charge it when I left my house!

*The team exchanges glances.*

Stasis: My plan, then?

Everyone else: Your plan.

*And with that the group, with Gamebuddy trailing behind as he looks to see if he put his DSi charger cable in one of his pockets, charges off to the Welcome topic in hope of initiating whatever Stasis' plan is. DarkRyal, who is just recovering from the DSi's effect along with his noob troops, glares at them.*

DarkRyal: Don't let them get away, my nooblets! Let us show King Noob just how noobish we can be! Sonic Paradox will FALL!

*Meanwhile, with Team ALPHA, they are recovering from the onslaught of stolen Sonic Shorts videos that Celest managed to get rid of. Now they approach the hole/rift/tear/whatever it's being called now, which has increased dramatically in size as time has passed.*

Chio: At least no noobs are coming out of it now.

Celest: Lol coming out. But yeah, I agree. Now's as good a time as any to try and fix it. Care to take a looksie, Chio?

Chio: *cringes* I never wanted to do this to begin with, hence my running away and trying to get help , but I suppose I can see if my moderating stick can work its magic at all. *gingerly approaches, pulling out a stick, one of which possessed by all mods and admins of SP, which they may use to alter topics and perform all manner of actions on the board.*

KaDo: *stumbles out of the hole woozily* You know, you really didn't have to THROW me like that. *fishes out some candy from her pockets* At least I found this, though. Mmm, candy...

Chio: *eyeing KaDo* Did you notice anything in there? Aside from candy?

KaDo: Well, I suppose there was this overwhelming feeling of futility and terror. I kinda ignored that, though.

Boz: I guess all we can do is find out what's in there. And by "we", I mean "Chio". And by "find out what's in there", I mean "it was nice knowing you."

Chio: Yeah, thanks for the vote of confidence, Boz. *shakes head and slowly enters the hole*

Jake: Don't worry, Chio. I've got your back! *fashions the C in his username as a boomerang once again*

*Chio doesn't answer Jake, as he is far too busy scanning the inside of the dark and unpleasant tear in the Private section. Through the other side is the General Chatter, where the noobs had all entered from. He keeps one eye on that just in case of another onslaught. It is in the centre, however, where the darkness came from, that he focuses on. Where the candy is settled. Where the terrifying, intangible force lies.

Chio gulps and looks around further. Perhaps somewhere in here is the answer to all of this. As he continues his search, the words of Bit ring through his mind. Of an outside force trying to tear the board apart from the inside. Of a past board that suffered such a fate, with circumstances just like this one. He can't help but feel the fear start to take over. He grips his moderation stick even tighter, for what good it may do...*

Boz: Chio! Have you found anything?

Celest: Yeah, what's taking so long? We've got trolls and noobs to worry about!

*Chio again doesn't answer, as he is fixated upon a pair of white eyes that have suddenly made themselves evident. White slanted eyes, soulless husks. Slowly but surely, a whole face appears. A monstrous, demonic face. One that, surprisingly, fills Chio with familiarity.*

Chio: L... L...