*Indeed, the ragtag group of heroes emerge from the wilderness back into the now 'not-so-magical' land of Sonic Paradox. From the time that they were gone, the rift had grown almost twice in size, and was casting the site in a shadow. The regular members could be seen running amock, screaming like little schoolgirls, as some noobs that didn't enter through the rift actually joined the site with no admins present and decided to try and take over.*

Chio: I must say, this looks quite the pickle.

Jake: But I thought we just dealt with the noobs on the stream...

Celest: You fool, this is a seperate site! By the time it took for us to ban them from the stream and come here, they've already gathered an army with them!

Bit: Well, good thing we already know a couple of their IP addresses.

*Bit's grin fades back onto his face as he pulls out his mighty Ban-Hammer. With a quick detection of who the original noobs were from the stream, he brought down the might of the Ban-Hammer upon the three, easily eradicating a portion of the mass of invaders.*

Celest: You know how bad I'd want one of those, right?

Bit: still have a ways to go.

Celest: That makes me kinda sad in my pants...

Booze: Stfu and deal with it, let's worry about the rest of these freaks first.

Celest: Got an idea. I shall spam them with some of Insector's YTP, which will distract them long enough to be banned.

*Suddenly, a television appears out of nowhere, and begins playing something with the Joker's dialog switched up to sound like U.N. Owen Was Her. During this time, Bit waged war with the mighty hammer, destroying all of the noobs that were dumbstruck by Insector's YTP brilliance. However, not all of them fell for the trap, for most of them thrived on YTP to the point where it was no longer funny to them. These noobs began to surround them in a circle, closing in on them.*

Boz: Any ideas, guys??

Celest: Well, we could just try and take them on one-by-one like before...OHHEY, A FEMALE NOOB, I'LL BE BACK!!

*With that, he runs ahead to attack a more pleasant-looking noob, but as he got closer, he noticed something. This noob looked rather familiar, in fact...SP familiar. She had blonde hair, and was quite pretty. It couldn't be--!*


*The NG spammer that once attacked Stasis turned her evil glare to him, and then begun shapeshifting into her true form. She only looked pretty to gather the horny user's attention, but as she resorted to her true form, she was quite the opposite. Celest could've sworn he'd seen sumo wrestlers thinner and hotter than this monstrosity. He stood there, in horror, and CELESTE jumped in the air towards him, petrified.*

*What will happen to our heroes now? Will Bit's hammer be enough to take on all of the trolls, or will everyone have to resort to duking it out one-by-one? Will Celest be crushed by the other CELESTE? YOU BE THE JUDGE!*

Rock The JakeEdit

Jake, spotting Celest's plight, threw one of his drumsticks into an eye of the monster. The monster recoiled in terror and pain as it became blinded.

Jake took out the "C" in his username again and attached it to his other stick to fashion a scythe. Jake charged at the monstrosity, jumped up to get to eye level with the monster. and with one fell..


The monstrosities' head had been separated from it's body. Jake extended a hand out to Celest. "You ok, leprechaun?"


Celest: Urgh... I think I just threw up my pot of gold.

Jake helps him to his feet.

Jake: All this fighting really makes a change from all the drumming.

Iceman: You guys can talk later. Right now we have a problem - a BIG problem.

The group glance over at the recently decapitated Celeste. It's body was quivering and shaking drastically. Suddenly, a head burst from the gaping hole where the previous one had been. The creatire doubled in size, dwarfing the once mighty Boz in T-Rex form.

Boz: Oh shit.

Stasis: Don't forget guys, this is an internet forum. The only way to really beat these Noobs is with a permaban.

Jake looks at the floor.

Jake: Sorry, I got carried away.

Chio: There's no way me, Bit and Booze can permaban all these guys. It will take a lifetime. There's got to be another way...

Looking around the forum, they take in the destruction of their second home. Topics were being created where they didn't belong, countless posts regarding the release date of Volume 6, and thousands upon thousands of shitty ideas.

Booze: Damn these Noobs! I'm gonna tear them a new arsehole!

GameBuddy: Or, we could simply give them a good talking to. I have plenty of voices. Which one should I use? *grins*

Stasis' eyes widen.

Stasis: A good talking to...

Chio: What you thinking, Stasis?

Stasis: I have a plan to help minimize the Noob count. Everyone, to the Welcome topic!

What is Stasis' plan? Is his plan based on logic? Why didn't Bit get a line? YOU DECIDE!