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SonicSegaFan1991, SSF1991, SF1991, or SSF, is a character that appears in the second Parable. He became Sonic Paradox's news reporter just prior to the events of the second Parable.


A smartass who can make witty comments on his own time. He can be big hearted because he can. He is also very understanding and will use words before actions. However, he has a tendency to annoy people by his frequent jokes about the news.


Can make news articles that please the public in a way that even a sex slave can't do because of the fact that they can be thrown as projectiles to stun foes or used as a defensive shield against attacks that will only work for a short time.


SSF is the sole possessor of the ability to Dongasm. Dongasmic activity occurs when SSF is excited in the following ways:

  • New Game Release
  • New Game Update
  • News About an Upcoming Sonic Game
  • News About an Upcoming Game Release
  • News About a Sonic-Related Event
  • News in General

Most Dongasmic activity, however, occurs he wants something (-and the more he wants it, the more explosive the outburst becomes).

Arachnaes MonologusEdit

SSF's Bloodline trait. He weilds the ability to monologue any 8 legged creature to death. He has yet to show use of this trait in the parable but he may.


Coming Soon!


SSF spawned as an unknown User that became known due to his behavior, maturity, and attitude towards others. He stood out quickly and was fortunate to join when there was an opening for News Reporter. He always wanted to be a news reporter but had never had the chance to prove himself. When this opportunity came it was a dream come true. Again he stood out and became their news reporter. By doing so he became a moderator and was given the ability to make articles. When he learned of the events of the first Parable he realized that he may be in danger and, even worse, his articles were too. The result was making use of the power of "the media" and his news articles to turn them against his foes by making the articles sharper, easier to throw, and as shiny as possible to produce projectiles. With his offensive powers made the articles now needed some kind of defensive ability. The next flexible, longer, and with a stronger material to use as a shield. He can only use one shield article at a time and their defensive abilities only last a short bit of time since most of the power was used for the offensive end of the deal. All of this work on this "media" power made SSF realize that his articles could have power that reaches a level of near infinity (this is due to the vast stories he can report on and the many news sites that exist) and be capable of things that even he has been unable to understand, although he has never told anyone this out of fear that he would be seen as a threat by everyone. On top of this he also realized that if anyone else were to find out and obtain this true power, especially if they were evil, that the consequences would be disaster and could even lead to SSF's honor and reputation being ruined. To counter this SSF made a charging device as a storage area for his unpublished articles and to contain the power of the articles to a maximum to keep that power from overloading and causing a catastrophe. This was the final straw. His speech obtained a severe problem. All of this power he had been around in all at once, his promotion, and his obsession with news reporting, corrupted him to the point that this obsession has caused him to make jokes about the news all the time regardless of what situation he's currently in at the moment. With everything set he turned his attention to the SonicNews section he inherited at Sonic Paradox, his new home. The area had been so dormant for so long and SSF wanted to fix this as soon as possible. The end result was a needed defensive and offensive boost along with a cleansing of past articles. The SonicNews section was now better than ever but the second Parable ruined the section. It's later explained that the black darkness that infected all of Sonic Paradox infected the SonicNews section and his articles as well. Every article made, unpublished or not, has the same type of power that binds them together and, because of this, are in risk of all collapsing into trash in a domino effect. This is precisely what happened to the articles after Squidward's attack. SSF, after having to evacuate Sonic Paradox, is still forming friendships with the rest at Sonic Paradox, trying to protect the SonicNews section and articles, and is hell bent to keep secret the truth of their real power.

As for the Parable itself he first appeared randomly in the middle of the Serebii arc after PNSK, PlasmaNuke, and Celest Orion stumbled upon him looking for people to interview. It was eventually discovered that all of the events were merely a dream SSF1991 and Celest were experiencing after they had passed out in their respective places.