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"Yech! That was gross! That's the kind of candy you're grandma has buried in her purse covered in lint and cat hair! Why, only a complete and utter simpleton with the brain of an incompetent raccoon would be enticed by such a poor excuse for a confectionery treat!"
GameBuddy, after sampling one.[1]


Shitty piece of candy, coveted by Noobs. It has the apparent ability to distort and disarray a website from within by somehow creating miniature voids when in mass amounts within a relatively close proximity HUGE PILES, promptly followed by a noob apocalypse.

It is not known exactly where these toxic toffees come from, but it can't be such a nice place. In the original Parable, much of the candy seemed to have been created by King Noob, by borrowing LORTUX's power.

Their taste is the stuff of nightmares for many a user. What Noobs see in it has yet to be researched, but it probably stems from bad taste. Any other species with any lick of sense avoids them like the plague. Furries, though possessing neither good taste nor a lick of sense, don't really seem to care for the shitty sweets. Trolls occasionally employ them as projectiles, which could be interpreted as distaste at the very least.

It is toxic to anything other than Noobs. Eating one is not recommended. Touching one is not recommended. Looking at one is not recommended. Being in a room with one is not recommended. Using one to apply eyeliner is not recommended.