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A noob is one of the lowest lifeforms on the Internet, second only to most subclasses of Furry.

SummaryEdit

The noob is a common species of internet user, and survives solely on morsels of fail dropped by superior creatures. Partially due to this they have developed a thin, skeletal look, with long claw-like fingers used to tear apart its prey's logic and win. However the noobs clawlike hands come at a price, and very few have the ability to type with any degree of success, often creating completely incoherent sentences (especially apparent during flaming matches.)

The noob has a small head which is like a cross between a dinosaur and a crab, which houses its feeble brain. Noobs are fairly easy to tackle when they are alone, but in great numbers they can be a formidable force, overpowering normal users and reducing them to noobishness themself. They're like a sort of internet zombie.

Be wary, as they will do anything for noob candy, a singularly nasty morsel that any other class would retch at the mere thought of eating.

Sub-classesEdit

Regular NoobEdit

Vanilla noobs, fresh from the retard batch. Really don't have much going for them besides numbers. Tend to hang around in large, disorganized "groups".

Sockpuppet NoobEdit

It seems that one thing some noobs can get right is creating accounts. Just when you thought you got rid of these pricks, another one (or two, or three!) pops up out of nowhere. There is generally no limit to this returning from the dead (besides the noob's level of butthurt), and only an IP ban from a mod or higher will get rid of them for good. Definitely like an internet zombie.


Super NoobEdit

Noobs changed by Squidward's dark powers. Their brains no longer exist, making them creatures of unparalleled idiocy. This has, paradoxically, made them stronger, as they get right back up from blows that would normally completely fuck over a regular noob. They still have the same troubles with typing, etc; Their outer forms haven't changed much at all.

Script KiddieEdit

These noobs worship the immensely superior Hackers as something akin to gods, and practically begged them for a taste of their power. The hacker occasionally obliges them with garbage, obsolete code that nevertheless could do serious damage... if it wasn't in a noob's clutches. The resulting code golems, zombies, and site viruses are pale imitations of the cutting edge software that any hacker that isn't completely braindead typically use. Still, in the off chance that they get something to work right, they can be almost as dangerous.

Fandom NoobEdit

There are a few different types of these noobs; The thing grouping them together is their unusually egotistical nature and their obsession with creating garbage.

Fan-Fic NoobEdit

These are the noobs that spend all their time writing demented fan "fics" about any character that isn't their own; the main reason is that they are too stupid to make up any character of their own and aren't satisfied with how the people who made the character are using them. Closely related to the noobs who think their fan "characters" are "the shit".

Their prose is so terrible that occasionally it springs to life and devours them before turning on anything in the vicinity. This fanfic abomination only lives for moments but is far more frightening than the simple noob that wrote it. Of course, it often prefers noobs and other lower creatures and will almost leave Users alone. This makes the fanfic noob hated by other noob subclasses for its ticking time bomb characteristic.