He's supposed to have ten legs, but don't tell him that. He's sensitive. Prefers his coffee black, says it reminds him of the darkest pits of hell. He doesn't even drink it, he just likes to have it on hand when he'd rather scald a noob than vaporize it. His personality goes all over the place when things do not go as planned, such as when dying horribly from the inside out.
Capable of firing shadow beams from his tentacles and reducing shit talking Noobs to scorch marks, something he takes an immense pleasure from. One might even go far as to suggest this level of pleasure borders on sexual, or at least pleasantly intimate.
Barely three posts later (Which is an eternity anyway) he's destroyed from the inside by Iceman in a rather dramatic fashion. The only one who cared was Squidward, and not because Eight Legs owed him ten bucks, or kept the noobs in line the best, or was the most attractive of the generals.